Tuesday, September 27, 2011

It's 11:18 pm and I'm Thinking about Stephen King

I. Can't. Sleep.

6 hours from now, my tenacious iPhone 4 alarm will be delighting in my exhaustion with gusto, but for now, my exhaustion is being expressed in sentences that I fear are somewhat incoherent.

I CAN'T SLEEPPP.

Today at work we were short a person because our deli man (we'll call him Jack) is always calling in sick, or breaking a tooth, or dropping something on his head and having to go to the doctor, or getting a kid in juvenile, or something (literally, he has used all of those excuses). You know the guy at your work who is never at work because he just got a part time acting job in Spanish films? Yeah, that's Jack.

But seriously, world of the internet, how do they do it? Can I start doing it? Does it require children? Does it require shelves from which pans can fall on your head? How do I invent these wonderful excuses which will allow me to sleep late tomorrow?

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